Working routine

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Writing day after day creates a good habit of consistent writing. But also, at some point you might feel bumping into a wall. That is where you stuck in routine.

I tried different ways of avoiding that point. But the truth is – the only way not to get there – make writing not 100% routine. Always try something new, look for something new, wonder, dream.

And give yourself some rest. Don’t let guilt overwhelm you. You deserve this rest as well as you deserve to write, create, express yourself.

It works not only in terms of writing. But also in terms of life.

Blackout

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Today I overslept, but the new day came as always. It didn’t wait for me to catch up.

But it is okay. I needed this day to put myself together. Let’s hope it worked.

Earlier today I bumped into video of Ke Huy Quan overcoming with emotions when he was accepting his Oscar. I was so glad for him, like for no one else on the Earth. I would be acting the very same if I were on his place. I won’t be there but it was nice to share that joy.

I love people that are real. With real emotions.

Sister told me today that she is proud of me no matter what. I cannot imagine what I would do without her. She is the most supportive person I have ever had in my life.

Let’s see what comes tomorrow.

Inspiration

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Where do you take one? For me the answer is simple: music. I 100% agree with Albus Dumbledore once said: “β€œAh, music … A magic beyond all we do here!” And I cannot agree more.

Last months I have been working on “Ewayeen” novels and Bear McCreary’s music helped me a lot. Recently I am in love with God of War and God of War: RagnarΓΆk soundtracks.

Wait for that, I have discovered so many brilliant composers when started writing. They transform music into real magic. Incredible people that don’t need to be introduced like John Williams, Dario Marianelli, Howard Shore and so many others. Their music help me every day, they help me even not-knowing about it.

So if you are looking for some inspiration, try these albums:

  • Bear McCreary: God of War (2018) / God of War: RagnarΓΆk (2022) / DaVinchi’s Demons (2013) / Assassin’s Creed Syndicate: Jack the Ripper (2015)
  • Ramin Djawadi: Dracula Untold (2014) / Clash of the Titans (2010)
  • Alan Silvestri: Van Helsing (2004)
  • Robin Carolan & Sebastian Gainsborough: The Northman (2022)
  • Trevor Morris: Castlevania (2017)
  • Marc Streitenfeld: Robin Hood (2010)
  • Hans Zimmer: Man of Steel (2013) / Angels and Demons (2009)
  • Alexandre Desplat: The Imitation Game (2014)

Add a bit of magic to your Saturday evening.

It is time

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You know when it is good timing. You feel it.

When to go,

When to stop.

When to read.

When to write.

AI created me a nice picture of Kratos aka God of War. Love this one. Inspires to create.

In most cases it feels like itching on the top of your fingers. Go. Write. Create. I am trying not to lose the feeling and not to give up. Because it is the only way to see the final result. The story I want to tell, to share with you.

So how do I feel about it right now?

It is a WRITING night.

It can become worse

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Always.

When you think you are in the bottom – suddenly you find out you are still falling, drowning in the darkness of a sea called desperation.

I got a message today I wish I had never received. Feeling frustrated, disappointed,anxious about. Only yeasterday I though that I might have obtained kind of stability.

How fool was I.

It always can become worse.

New Year, you must be kidding me.

Isn’t it too late…

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…to say thank you? For that I am still alive. That I faced today’s sunrise. That I saw my mom today and talked to my husband. I have tasty food on my plate, a roof above my head, a bed to sleep in.

I have multiple possibilties to study, to work, to explore, to believe, to create.

That is definitely enough for one day to be thankful for. Each day of our lives.

So I say thank you. And I will do my best not to forget being thankful every day.

At the end

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Three days before New Year. As pretty any other person I have already summed this year. So far it tore me apart, forced me to leave my country, my husband and my life. It killed people I knew.

After such a line I have almost no willing to continue. But I have to. No one will go this path but me.

This year I saw almost every corner of Europe, moved to another side of the Earth and faced thirty degrees frost. I found new friends, hugged the old ones.

I met incredible people of Moldova, Romania, Poland, Lithuania, Italy and many-many others. Each of them kept my faith in people alive. I wish they knew how grateful I am to where I am today. I wish the whole world knew what each of them had done to help my country.

Though I still miss my husband and will see the firt day of 2023 without him, I hope it will last not that long. Hard to imagine, I have not seen him since 26 of February when I passed the border of Moldova, in a small village named Palanca.

Thank you for making me stronger this year. I hope to have more reasons to be joyful next year.

That is a piece of…

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… a cake of course. That is what anybody would say if you asked them how to find a new life in a new world.

Boolshit.

What are my options? To find a some stupid work just to get by, or a super smart one and ran off from it next week? Should I seek longer or agry the first offer? Should I try findiing something I might really like or should I dirft?

I don’t like any of the options.

I am out of source as it is commonly named.

This stupid war exhausted me, and I am even not near of it now. I only heard a couple of explosions 24th of Feb, early in the morning. And I fled the country.

I just need a bit of luck, to survive until this stupidity is over and I will be with my husband again.

Hopefully.

God. I am so lost. Please give me a hand.

Not all who wander are lost

J.R.R.Tolkien

I wish I weren’t that lost.