Challenges and revelations

August and September were tough on me and my family.

But giving up was never an option.

I’m glad I finally published Ice Beast Tale on booknet and wattapad. Be my guests and feel free to read and leave some comments for me.

Let’s hope the end of this year will be more peaceful for us.

P.S. Once I promised to Mr. Tolkien (in my thoughts of course) that I will never stop writing. It was nasty autumn afternoon and I felt pretty sad. But I remember that thought every day since and it gives me inner powers to keep going. I won’t let you down.

~~~

Серпень та вересень стали тяжким випробуванням для мене та моєї родини.

Але здаватися ніколи не було варіантом.

Я рада, що я нарешті опублікувала Сказанку про Крижаного Звіра на booknet та wattapad. Тепер її можна прочести там і залишити коментарі для мене.

Сподіватимемося, кінець року буде мирним для всіх нас.

П.С. Одного дощового осінного дня я пообіцяла містеру Толкієну (подумки, звичайно), що ніколи не припиню писати. І ця думка допомогає мені кожен день, дає внутрішню силу стримати обіцянку. Не хвилюйтеся, я вас не підведу.

New inspiration, new story

Losing the Centaurid competition gave me new inner strength and inspiration. Today I sent my “Tale of the Ice Beast” to six publishing houses in Ukraine. Wish me luck.
But if it doesn’t work out, I’ll publish the novel at Wattpad, like “Chimera” before. By the way, the story of James and Eleanor will soon be continued in the novel “Typhon”. No one knows how long the final editing will take, but I am quite optimistic.
Well, see you around and stayed inspired everyone!
P.S. Here are some fresh pictures for you from Midjourney:

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Програш у конкурсі Кентаврида надав мені нових внутрішних сил і натхнення. Сьогодні відправила мою “Сказанку про Крижаного Звіра” у шість видавництв в Україні. Побажайте мені успіху.
Але якщо не складеться, то опублікую роман на Wattpad, як і “Хімеру” до того. До речі, історія Джеймса і Елінор вже скоро матиме продовження у романі “Тифон”. Ніхто не знає скільки часу займе редагування, втім я налаштована доволі оптимістично.
Що ж, до зустрічі і натхнення всім!
П.с. Тримайте трошки свіжих малюнків з Midjourney.

One more refuse!

As much as I hate to admit it, another rejection didn’t really affect me. Not a big deal, simply another publishing house that didn’t want to publish my work. Another competition I didn’t win. But there’s still something nice about knowing that someone, somewhere, is reading what I wrote, even if there’s no feedback. It’s understandable—they can’t respond to everyone, or they’d never get anything else done.

But we don’t give up and we don’t get sad. We just keep writing.

~~~

Ще одна відмова!

Як не прикро це визнавати, але чергова відмова майже нічого не зворушила всередині мене. Невелика справа, ще одне видавництво не захотіло мене публікувати. Ще один конкурс не виграно. Втім, це відчуття, що хтось десь читає те, що ти написав – доволі приємне, хоча немає жодного зворотнього зв’язку. Це зрозуміло, якщо відповідати кожному, можна забути про життя взагалі.
Та ми не здаємося і не сумуємо. І продовжуємо писати.

Blackout

Today I overslept, but the new day came as always. It didn’t wait for me to catch up.

But it is okay. I needed this day to put myself together. Let’s hope it worked.

Earlier today I bumped into video of Ke Huy Quan overcoming with emotions when he was accepting his Oscar. I was so glad for him, like for no one else on the Earth. I would be acting the very same if I were on his place. I won’t be there but it was nice to share that joy.

I love people that are real. With real emotions.

Sister told me today that she is proud of me no matter what. I cannot imagine what I would do without her. She is the most supportive person I have ever had in my life.

Let’s see what comes tomorrow.

It can become worse

Always.

When you think you are in the bottom – suddenly you find out you are still falling, drowning in the darkness of a sea called desperation.

I got a message today I wish I had never received. Feeling frustrated, disappointed,anxious about. Only yeasterday I though that I might have obtained kind of stability.

How fool was I.

It always can become worse.

New Year, you must be kidding me.

At the end

Three days before New Year. As pretty any other person I have already summed this year. So far it tore me apart, forced me to leave my country, my husband and my life. It killed people I knew.

After such a line I have almost no willing to continue. But I have to. No one will go this path but me.

This year I saw almost every corner of Europe, moved to another side of the Earth and faced thirty degrees frost. I found new friends, hugged the old ones.

I met incredible people of Moldova, Romania, Poland, Lithuania, Italy and many-many others. Each of them kept my faith in people alive. I wish they knew how grateful I am to where I am today. I wish the whole world knew what each of them had done to help my country.

Though I still miss my husband and will see the firt day of 2023 without him, I hope it will last not that long. Hard to imagine, I have not seen him since 26 of February when I passed the border of Moldova, in a small village named Palanca.

Thank you for making me stronger this year. I hope to have more reasons to be joyful next year.

That is a piece of…

… a cake of course. That is what anybody would say if you asked them how to find a new life in a new world.

Boolshit.

What are my options? To find a some stupid work just to get by, or a super smart one and ran off from it next week? Should I seek longer or agry the first offer? Should I try findiing something I might really like or should I dirft?

I don’t like any of the options.

I am out of source as it is commonly named.

This stupid war exhausted me, and I am even not near of it now. I only heard a couple of explosions 24th of Feb, early in the morning. And I fled the country.

I just need a bit of luck, to survive until this stupidity is over and I will be with my husband again.

Hopefully.

God. I am so lost. Please give me a hand.

Not all who wander are lost

J.R.R.Tolkien

I wish I weren’t that lost.

Sooner or later

Elliston Park, Calgary

Life is like a wheel. Sooner or later, it always come around to where you started again.

Stephen King

Being thousands of miles away from home, I came up with understanding I need to start all over again.

You may consider it as bless or curse, it depends on your situation. However, for now I know the one thing – it is freaking me out.

All is new and different. Even toiler paper.

It is a big deal.

Things, I got used to, literaly save my brains. So I keep holding to them.

Trying to start acting like and adult and responsible person. It does not work each time. But doooooon’t stop belieeeeeviiiiing.

The Year

“That which does not kill us makes us stronger.” – Friedrich Nietzsche

It has been a tough year for almost everyone in my near acquaintance. There were bad days and ‘I-can-handle-it’ days. There were few good ones.


I lost my dad due to COVID-19.
I fled from Ukraine due to hostilities russia launched.
I haven’t seen my husband for 8 months by now.

I am alive, I am safe. I have my mom and sister around.

Mykolaiv, Ukraine, created by Midjourney AI

I just want to hope it makes any sense and will make me stronger. Cause I don’t feel like I am strong enough.

Moi aussi

Ничто не гаснет, не увядает бесследно.

Всегда есть путь, есть нить, что связывает твою жизнь. То что было с тем что стало.

Всегда есть выбор как поступить.

И у меня так же.

Но что же выбрать?